Nate W. wrote:There is a difference between you asking me for the same favor and a complete stranger asking me for unsolicited referrals.
I know we are discussing the more philosophical points of this exchange, but isn't this how a complete stranger gets turned into a contact? Isn't this literally the definition of networking? I appreciate that it takes time, and that there is zero guarantee that helping someone will reward you in a reasonable timeframe...but nobody bats a 1.000 in networking, right?
Nate W. wrote:If he wanted just a PhD, why contact me? My profile clearly states MS and this organization has many experts on its board.
Again I appreciate your ethical breakdown of this conversation, but do you think it's unfair to just get him on the phone and ask him? You'll get an answer either way.
Nate W. wrote:But I have been down this path before, the recruiter got angry when I asked him for a return favor.
This I have a problem with. Networking is not a zero-sum game. How many people have you helped that never paid you back? Even think about this very forum -- I know the majority of the souls who have taken our good advice did nothing for us in return. Should we seek them out and demand reciprocity?
I don't mean to say never ask for favors -- if you helped someone, you can ask them for help when you need it. Heck, when you're in a bind you should ask favors of anyone you can! (As long as they're not burdensome favors.) If someone "gets angry" over your asking, then that's their loss.
I don't know what your exchange was like -- I will assume you didn't badger this person with a favor or demand it. If they snubbed you that's a shame. But not an example to follow.
If you helped out ten recruiters, and you really hit it off with one and landed you your dream job, would you hold it against the other nine? Have you ever taken advice from someone and not returned the favor? I know I have. I lurked on this forum for years!
"The single factor that differentiates Nobel laureates from other scientists is training with another Nobel laureate." -- Sol Snyder