by Dustin Levy » Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:19 am
Your offer to help with some of your coworkers responsibilities is a noble one, and a logical approach to solving the problem. The fact that this individual hasn't taken you up on the offer could mean that don’t have an accurate read on the situation. Let’s look at what you know and don’t know to be true. You know it’s true that some senior individuals have left. You know the coworker’s responsiveness has declined. You’re probably right that the coworker is stressed out. What you don’t know to be true is that the behaviors you’re seeing are the result of increased workload stemming from the departure of other individuals. That is an assumption, and though likely true, there may be more to it than that.
At the same time, your coworker may not understand your true intent for wanting to help. Given their state of mind, they may think you’re out to make them look bad, take credit for their work, or maybe you’re seeking a promotion for yourself at their expense.
The key point is that you’ve offered a solution to this individual (help with responsibilities) without understanding the depth of their problem. Instead of offering a solution to the individual, try listening and empathizing with them first. Then you can partner on effective solutions.
As an example, consider structuring a conversation in the following manner:
1. Make clear your intent and motivation for wanting to help...to defuse any fears or suspicions
2. Confirm that the coworker is stressed out…don’t assume that you’ve read this accurately
3. Discuss the sources of the stress – and be prepared that some may not have anything to do with the workplace environment…this could get very personal
4. Discuss ideas to reduce this stress, and let the coworker drive the solutions, you are there to listen and facilitate ideas…you’ve been thinking that helping with responsibilities is the solution, but maybe it isn’t
5. Partner with the coworker on the implementing the best ideas, while suggesting help from others when neither of you have the tools to help
My only word of caution is that if this gets personal, you’re involved and have an obligation to stay involved. For all you know, this individual could be going through a divorce, sick family member, their own health problems, etc. If you’re not prepared to ride out those discussions, it’s better to step away now. Once they let you in, you can't abandon them.